When I looked at the above photo of myself (next to my sister’s cat, named Pigeon), my initial thought was “Jeez! I’m fatter than I thought I was!” We, especially women, have been trained since childhood to look upon our bodies with disgust. We zero in on every imperfection and judge ourselves harshly. But what if we didn’t do that? What if we appreciated that our body is the embodiment of a lifetime of abundance?
The other day, I started thinking about all the things this amazing five-foot-zero-inches body of mine has done for me.
- Last week, it fought off a nasty chest cold, with only the assistance of some over-the-counter medicine and lots of fluids, to help with the symptoms so I could sleep.
- My brain and body have battled through thousands of bouts of depression, of various intensities, and I’m still here. Still able to feel joy, love, and gratitude.
- Every time I get a sunburn or an injury, my body heals itself. Maybe not always 100%, it leaves scars sometimes, but the fact that it can heal at all is mind-blowing.
- My reproductive system creates stem cells that can be harvested in menstrual blood, which scientists are discovering can cure and heal. How much remains to be determined. Imagine discarding all this healing “concoction” every month and not knowing it because someone convinced us that periods are gross.
- Not once, but twice, my body survived pregnancy and childbirth to miraculously bring new lives into this world. It didn’t reject a foreign, parasitic-like being and instead allowed it to help itself to my body’s nutrients for its growth and survival. My body shifted organs around, adjusted hormone and blood levels, as well as stretched and tore itself to make room for this creature to grow to full term and exit my body safely. Then, my body healed itself while it survived bleeding for weeks, so it could be ready to do it all over again if/when called upon.
- My body converted its blood to produce milk for months, to feel this being after it exited my body.
- I am blessed to be able to use all my senses to take in the beauty of this world.
- I have enough mobility to live my life with very few restrictions and mostly pain-free.
- My weight is above what it needs to be because I get to enjoy desserts and all sorts of yummy foods (yes, some are nutritious). I am not experiencing famine because I have easy access to food, thanks to the fact that I have an income, support system, home, and I live in a safe place free from violence. I am fortunate enough to not be battling an eating disorder or any kind of chronic disease.
- I don’t have to work one or more physically demanding jobs to earn a living. I get to work from my computer, sitting on my fat ass, in a climate-controlled environment. I can rest when I need to, and I don’t have to push through pain to get paid. I even have the option to earn passive income, where I don’t trade my time for money.
- My brain is not too damaged by genetics, disease, or injury. I can take care of myself independently, am intelligent enough to do work using my brain instead of just my brawn, and can still learn new things.
- Despite my lack of exercise and overindulgence in junk food, I am still alive and functioning remarkably well, despite everything (for now). I have reached the age of 50 in relatively good health. Yes, I recognize that I need to take better care of my body if I want it to continue taking care of me, but it has shown tremendous resilience thus far.
- This amazing body of mine has learned to drive stick-shift, rappelled down a 22-story building, assembled an outdoor play structure for my kids, shovelled snow, chopped wood, danced, gone white-water rafting, gone for lovely walks, ridden a bike, roller-skated, ice-skated, climbed a wall, and participated in multiple other physical activities.
- This body has rocked babies to sleep, hugged loved ones, shared intimacy with a partner, laughed with friends, and lent a hand to more people than I can remember.
I could keep going, but you get the idea. Our bodies are truly remarkable! I, for one, am not going to look upon mine with shame anymore. What I now see when I look in the mirror is the abundance that I’ve lived in this body for half a century. This fat ass is badass! I am not a fat, lazy bitch. I am the embodiment of abundance, and that’s going to allow me to live a life less confined.
